Blog Reflection #5

1. Personal message -

So often, it seems like adults say words and the children just don’t understand what is wanted of them. I am very impressed by how well the personal message works. It is a very structured statement that is designed specifically for young children to understand. I have found that the first part of the personal message “Reflect” is mostly so that you and the child can get on the same page. Giving a reflection is so crucial to not only so that the child is aware of what you are talking about, but it also helps focus their attention. The second step of a personal message is to “React”. This step is important so that the child can here in simple words how you are feeling because of their behavior. I found that the third step, “Reason”, helped the kids understand why you felt that way and why their behavior was either appropriate or inappropriate. Depending on the personal message, you would use a fourth step, which is “Rule”. Telling the children what to do versus what not to do is so productive, because the children can then change their actions instead of just stopping and not knowing what other actions to take. The personal message seems like a lot, but the more I use it, the easier it is to provide on the spot and I find it so effective with the children.

2. “Orientations to self-discipline” triangle –

I mostly found this diagram and text very informative. This diagram shows the source of behavioral control and how it corresponds with the different levels of self-discipline. These levels and sources also often correspond with age and maturity. It is so important to remember that children cannot be expected to have more self-discipline that what level they are on; we must be sensitive to children’s ages and situations. The different between Amoral and Internalization is a long way, but our job as teachers is to help a child on their way to Internalization so that they may have their own “internal code of ethics”. It’s just really nice to be aware of these things while working in the schools and with the children.


3. Authoritative discipline style –

I guess I didn’t really know which disciplinary style I used until I read about them and became aware of all the different styles. I am now trying to only use Authoritative discipline, but I am needing to make a conscious effort of it every day. Some days I’m more Authoritarian, some days I’m pretty Permissive, and other days I’m just plain Uninvolved. I know realize how important it is to include all attitudes in my disciplinary style. I need to have control of the situation, have communication, meet maturity demands, and be nurturing as well. I have had a lot of great examples of the Authoritative discipline style with professors, teachers I’ve observed, and even my own mother.

4. Adult strategies to support the improvement of children’s peer relationships and friendships –

There are a lot of strategies and methods covered in this section of the text that I have found useful, but just a couple I would like to touch on. “Shaping is among the most powerful of intervention tools to help socially isolated children.” A lot of children really struggle with social interactions, and Shaping is a skill that can really help them feel comfortable as they practice friendships. It is important to reward a child, often verbally, as they make progress in contact with peers. As they interact and initiate contact with peers, recognize their acts and comment with positive feedback. Shaping will allow the children to feel comfortable in the progress they’re making and help them recognize appropriate behaviors. Modeling is also a really great method to help children improve social interactions, and I find Coaching really productive with older children. By giving them direct instruction and feedback on their interactions with others, they are able to improve their relationships. It also gives them direct knowledge of ways to act, so they are not found in situations they don’t know how to respond to. These strategies and methods are so important to know so that when you work with a child that struggles with their peer relationships, you can teach and support them.

5. Creating a prosocial environment –

In the text it lists quite a few ways to create and promote a prosocial environment, all of which I value and think are really important. However, in this reflection I’ll just talk about a few that I feel strongly about and have really tried to implement in my working with children. First off, “Label prosocial acts as they occur naturally”. Children are often prosocial naturally, without trying. As these kind acts of cooperation happen, let the children know that it is a positive thing they are doing. The children will soon start to recognize them as prosocial acts on their own and desire to act in kind ways towards others. Another skill is to “Create opportunities for children to cooperate.” I think that it’s really important to have activities and projects everyday that include interactions with the other children and cooperation. The children then have opportunities to be prosocial and create habits that will help in creating healthy, life-long relationships with others. And the last skill I found really important was “Demonstrate constructive ways of responding to other people’s prosocial behavior.” I’ve found that often times children don’t know how to respond to a kind act, so it is important to show them appropriate ways to respond. If a child is trying to show kindness or cooperation and feels rebuffed, this could hinder the child’s prosocial behavior. It is important that we teach children to encourage others kind behaviors by responding positively.